What's My Relationship With Stuff Got To Do With It?

 Have you ever just stumbled onto a personal development book that has been a life-changer for you? You know, a book that you just totally connect with and it clicks with you on multiple levels? Several years ago, I read, “Return to Love, A Course in Miracles” by Marianne Williamson and it was incredible how THAT book and the timing of reading it re-sparked my relationship with God. It “returned” me back to God. Ultimately, where I was meant to be. Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you hadn't found that “life-changer” book? Not that God would’ve given up on me if I didn’t read the book, but I truly felt that it was God re-introduced. When I reflect back, I’m grateful for that book. 

I’m always on the quest for a book that will have THE answer for me. Fix whatever struggle I am currently facing. One area in my life that seems to be at the forefront in the current season of my life, well, geez, probably every season of my life is TIME! I have struggled with time. Always! I am always late. My house is always disheveled to the point that I feel like if I had someone just drop by, I would be mortified. Underwear on the bathroom floor or dirty dishes in the sink. My roommate in college always used to chuckle at how I got dressed each day…with my constant changing of clothes and the pile that always ended up on my bed. The pile of clothes never returned to the closet until about a week, sometimes two later.

 I’ve been a mom for 8 years. Yep, it would seem like I would have this whole “time battle” figured out, especially working full time and having a home based business. But, it turns out, I don’t! My laundry baskets are always overflowing, I never have the kids ready for school until five minutes before we walk out the door, my car, as I like to refer to it, looks like a bomb went off inside. I crave to seek peace in my crazy world, but is that even possible? Are moms just meant for a chaotic existence? Is that what we are supposed to “deal with” in our roles? I have read all about how to make my work week a 4-hour one, or how to organize my day into certain time blocks so I am dedicated to my task when I schedule it, but nothing has seemed to work. The whole thought of it feels a little hopeless.

 Last week, I started “listening” to “Unstuff Your Life” by Andrew Mellen. I always listen to personal development in the car to grow. This new book was an unexpected purchase on Audible.com through my monthly membership. Something about the name of the book just stuck out to me. Plus, the reviews were outstanding. I figured it couldn’t hurt.

The author, is a comforting man, who seems to resemble a therapist. We get started right away and the starting point is not what I was expecting. He wasn’t telling me where the perfect place is to keep my car keys or how to organize my cabinets. He asked me to look inward to understand why I am the way I am and what is my relationship with my stuff.

What I uncovered in the past week, is that I don’t have an unhealthy relationship with my stuff. I have no trouble saying “goodbye” to things in my house, but I am a perfectionist. I strive for perfection and I am often disappointed with myself when I don’t achieve high level of performance that I expect of myself. (Can I get an Amen here?) When I don’t think I can attain it, I shut down. I often don’t perform a task unless I know I will do it with accuracy. If I don’t have all the tools and resources available, I won’t do it. In turn, things pile up. Another issue for me is distraction or maybe it’s laziness. My husband referenced a few weeks ago, that I never put things AWAY right away when I am done with them. And...he’s right. I get started with dinner and the food, measuring cups, utensils, etc. are left out. Then we sit down for dinner and my mess is sitting on the counter. We’re done and not only do I have to clear the table, but I am overwhelmed by the prepwork mess I still have to clean up. OVERWHELMED seems like an understatement. In classic Lindsay-like fashion, I got pretty defensive with my husband’s comment, but last night I told him he was right.

I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I’ve been applying some of the things I have learned over the past week: 1. Everything has a home. All of our stuff needs to have a home and we need to be able to find what we are looking for in 30 seconds. 2. Like with like. This means when we store items, they must be kept together.

I have a feeling this book is going to transform my life. I am seeing it already. I have incorporated the things I have been told to work on this weekend. Find a place for my mail and my keys. It’s been revolutionary. Really. I’ve been also focusing on putting every single thing I get out AWAY when I am finished. This weekend, I cleaned out my car, weeded the flower beds, got more laundry done than I have ever done in a weekend…and I put it away.(Yahoo!!) AND, the best part was I found time to play with my kids without the nagging feeling that I had more housework to get done. Oh, and I got this blog post done. :)

I look forward to sharing the transformation and successes with you so that you might be inspired to read this one, too.