In The End, How Will You Be Remembered?

Morbid question alert!  Have you ever thought about your own funeral?  Have you ever given thought to who might be there?  What the service would look and feel like?  Who would stand up and speak about you?  More importantly, what your spouse, parents or children might say about you during the eulogy?  What about your friends or people from your church?

As part of an exercise from a book I am reading, I went through this visualization.  Ironically, it was quite a peaceful, eye-opening experience to walk through the details of this moment.  I have been to plenty of funerals in my lifetime, but I think out of human nature, I have never allowed myself to think about what it would be like to sit through my very own.

After I viewed my lifeless body and took my seat, I began to imagine what my husband, kids and parents would say about me.  Ultimately, their parting words about me are all that truly matter.  This is what I heard:

“Lindsay loved life!  She was a woman who always lived for the moment - actively living life and always having time to find beauty in the simplest places.”

“She was one of the rare people who was never too busy to stop what she was doing and be with anyone who needed a listening ear. She was a great comforter.”    

“Lindsay oozed the love of Jesus from her pores and that love was felt by anyone who was around her.”

“Mom loved us fiercely.  She gave us the freedom to find our own inner voices.  She never doubted us and gave us the confidence to find our purpose.” 

“Mom believed in us so much, fostered our God-given gifts and gave us strength to follow our dreams.”

“Mom always gave more than she received. I only hope I can be the same kind of mom to my kids.” 

Sounds nice, doesn’t it? 

Going through this exercise of watching my own funeral really allowed me to see that those comments ARE REALLY what I should be striving for in life.  Those comments, rolled up, have now become my new “life vision.” 

What I learned is that my constant desire to achieve and run the perfect household may give me some sort of control and sense of order, but those things are just temporary and ultimately do not give me ultimate happiness.  I have learned that my current way of life is incongruity with the life that I want to be remembered for.  Some things need to change.

Today, I encourage you to go through this exercise.  Think about every little detail.  What things need to change in your life to start living the life you want to be remembered for?  Do you need God in your life again?  Do you need to redirect your focus from material things to the intangible gifts of life?  Are you like me and need to take the “business” out of your family life and start being in the moment?  Whatever it is, I encourage you to try this…and see what is revealed.  You might learn something new and that my friends, is a true gift!  

What's My Relationship With Stuff Got To Do With It?

 Have you ever just stumbled onto a personal development book that has been a life-changer for you? You know, a book that you just totally connect with and it clicks with you on multiple levels? Several years ago, I read, “Return to Love, A Course in Miracles” by Marianne Williamson and it was incredible how THAT book and the timing of reading it re-sparked my relationship with God. It “returned” me back to God. Ultimately, where I was meant to be. Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you hadn't found that “life-changer” book? Not that God would’ve given up on me if I didn’t read the book, but I truly felt that it was God re-introduced. When I reflect back, I’m grateful for that book. 

I’m always on the quest for a book that will have THE answer for me. Fix whatever struggle I am currently facing. One area in my life that seems to be at the forefront in the current season of my life, well, geez, probably every season of my life is TIME! I have struggled with time. Always! I am always late. My house is always disheveled to the point that I feel like if I had someone just drop by, I would be mortified. Underwear on the bathroom floor or dirty dishes in the sink. My roommate in college always used to chuckle at how I got dressed each day…with my constant changing of clothes and the pile that always ended up on my bed. The pile of clothes never returned to the closet until about a week, sometimes two later.

 I’ve been a mom for 8 years. Yep, it would seem like I would have this whole “time battle” figured out, especially working full time and having a home based business. But, it turns out, I don’t! My laundry baskets are always overflowing, I never have the kids ready for school until five minutes before we walk out the door, my car, as I like to refer to it, looks like a bomb went off inside. I crave to seek peace in my crazy world, but is that even possible? Are moms just meant for a chaotic existence? Is that what we are supposed to “deal with” in our roles? I have read all about how to make my work week a 4-hour one, or how to organize my day into certain time blocks so I am dedicated to my task when I schedule it, but nothing has seemed to work. The whole thought of it feels a little hopeless.

 Last week, I started “listening” to “Unstuff Your Life” by Andrew Mellen. I always listen to personal development in the car to grow. This new book was an unexpected purchase on Audible.com through my monthly membership. Something about the name of the book just stuck out to me. Plus, the reviews were outstanding. I figured it couldn’t hurt.

The author, is a comforting man, who seems to resemble a therapist. We get started right away and the starting point is not what I was expecting. He wasn’t telling me where the perfect place is to keep my car keys or how to organize my cabinets. He asked me to look inward to understand why I am the way I am and what is my relationship with my stuff.

What I uncovered in the past week, is that I don’t have an unhealthy relationship with my stuff. I have no trouble saying “goodbye” to things in my house, but I am a perfectionist. I strive for perfection and I am often disappointed with myself when I don’t achieve high level of performance that I expect of myself. (Can I get an Amen here?) When I don’t think I can attain it, I shut down. I often don’t perform a task unless I know I will do it with accuracy. If I don’t have all the tools and resources available, I won’t do it. In turn, things pile up. Another issue for me is distraction or maybe it’s laziness. My husband referenced a few weeks ago, that I never put things AWAY right away when I am done with them. And...he’s right. I get started with dinner and the food, measuring cups, utensils, etc. are left out. Then we sit down for dinner and my mess is sitting on the counter. We’re done and not only do I have to clear the table, but I am overwhelmed by the prepwork mess I still have to clean up. OVERWHELMED seems like an understatement. In classic Lindsay-like fashion, I got pretty defensive with my husband’s comment, but last night I told him he was right.

I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I’ve been applying some of the things I have learned over the past week: 1. Everything has a home. All of our stuff needs to have a home and we need to be able to find what we are looking for in 30 seconds. 2. Like with like. This means when we store items, they must be kept together.

I have a feeling this book is going to transform my life. I am seeing it already. I have incorporated the things I have been told to work on this weekend. Find a place for my mail and my keys. It’s been revolutionary. Really. I’ve been also focusing on putting every single thing I get out AWAY when I am finished. This weekend, I cleaned out my car, weeded the flower beds, got more laundry done than I have ever done in a weekend…and I put it away.(Yahoo!!) AND, the best part was I found time to play with my kids without the nagging feeling that I had more housework to get done. Oh, and I got this blog post done. :)

I look forward to sharing the transformation and successes with you so that you might be inspired to read this one, too.