In The End, How Will You Be Remembered?

Morbid question alert!  Have you ever thought about your own funeral?  Have you ever given thought to who might be there?  What the service would look and feel like?  Who would stand up and speak about you?  More importantly, what your spouse, parents or children might say about you during the eulogy?  What about your friends or people from your church?

As part of an exercise from a book I am reading, I went through this visualization.  Ironically, it was quite a peaceful, eye-opening experience to walk through the details of this moment.  I have been to plenty of funerals in my lifetime, but I think out of human nature, I have never allowed myself to think about what it would be like to sit through my very own.

After I viewed my lifeless body and took my seat, I began to imagine what my husband, kids and parents would say about me.  Ultimately, their parting words about me are all that truly matter.  This is what I heard:

“Lindsay loved life!  She was a woman who always lived for the moment - actively living life and always having time to find beauty in the simplest places.”

“She was one of the rare people who was never too busy to stop what she was doing and be with anyone who needed a listening ear. She was a great comforter.”    

“Lindsay oozed the love of Jesus from her pores and that love was felt by anyone who was around her.”

“Mom loved us fiercely.  She gave us the freedom to find our own inner voices.  She never doubted us and gave us the confidence to find our purpose.” 

“Mom believed in us so much, fostered our God-given gifts and gave us strength to follow our dreams.”

“Mom always gave more than she received. I only hope I can be the same kind of mom to my kids.” 

Sounds nice, doesn’t it? 

Going through this exercise of watching my own funeral really allowed me to see that those comments ARE REALLY what I should be striving for in life.  Those comments, rolled up, have now become my new “life vision.” 

What I learned is that my constant desire to achieve and run the perfect household may give me some sort of control and sense of order, but those things are just temporary and ultimately do not give me ultimate happiness.  I have learned that my current way of life is incongruity with the life that I want to be remembered for.  Some things need to change.

Today, I encourage you to go through this exercise.  Think about every little detail.  What things need to change in your life to start living the life you want to be remembered for?  Do you need God in your life again?  Do you need to redirect your focus from material things to the intangible gifts of life?  Are you like me and need to take the “business” out of your family life and start being in the moment?  Whatever it is, I encourage you to try this…and see what is revealed.  You might learn something new and that my friends, is a true gift!  

Stepping Off the Hamster Wheel

I’m stepping off the hamster wheel…for good!

We are all seeking something…in my case, it’s time!  That’s why I created MomTime Café.  Because I wanted a place to share ideas and strategies on how busy moms can make the most of their time and find balance in their lives.  By all means, MomTime Cafe isn’t arriving at a particular destination.  I think life is a constant state of evolution.  People change, circumstances change, priorities change and we must adapt…always.

For years, I have really struggled with time.  ALWAYS late.  Taking on too much.  Overbooking myself.  Not allowing myself to rest.  Does this sound like I’m being a little tough on myself?  

Maybe, but all of it is 100% true.  It stinks to type those words…but in an odd way, it’s therapeutic.  My kids and husband constantly crave me…and NOT the me that says, “Sweetie, I’ll be out to play in a second, I gotta load the dishwasher” or the wife that in the same breath says, “Honey, I love you…when are you ever going to mow the grass?” 

My to-do lists are always endless.  Sometimes, I think that I add more stuff to my to-do list out of insanity, but other times, I like to feel accomplished by crossing each task off. With all that I have going on, I beat myself up because as much as I crave to be a spontaneous, fun mom and the wife that can completely engaged and in the moment, it’s been a struggle to get there.  I’m always distracted (see previous post on my phone addiction), overwhelmed and a bit envious at the moms who always seem to have it together.  How can I ever get there if my house is always a mess and I’m constantly feeling disorganized? Hate is a strong word, but I hate that my life has been so unbalanced.

For most of my mom life, I’ve been a walking ball of stress in a “happy, I’ve got it all together” exterior.  I can’t tell you how many self development books I have read over the past several years.  In some shape or form, I have collected a nugget or two of helpful information that I have applied to my life.  Despite my consummate focus on my personal health and fitness and my positive, upbeat personality, I still felt as if nothing seemed to “fix” the unbalance. 

Until I started “Unstuff Your Life!”  This book has been my wake-up call to action.  I don’t like using the overused word “epic”, so I won’t, but it’s been a game changer in my life.  Maybe it might be for you!  You can check the book out for yourself and all the reviews on it!  I’m halfway through the book and I have uncovered several techniques that I haven’t been using that are directly tied to my constant disorganization. 

1. Identifying designated homes for every item in my house.
2. Putting things away promptly after use.

Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it?  I touched on this a little in one of my recent blog posts, but it’s been so revolutionary in these past few weeks that it deserves more coverage on the blog.  For years, I have been guilty of getting things out and not putting them back.  I had read in the past that if you neglect dealing with it promptly, you significantly increase your time later to putting it back.  It’s true!  Tell me you don’t have a mountain of paperwork overflowing in your house that you’re dreading to go through?!  Over the past few weeks, I have dealt with things immediately and the effects have been quite powerful.  It’s like I’ve been added extra time in my time bank by applying these basic principles into my daily life.  Be mindful, this only works if you have a home for everything.  Everything MUST have a home and “like” things should be kept together.

I can’t remember a weekend where I had so much going on with my family – FUN STUFF…where we actually connected and enjoyed each other and I didn’t come home feeling incredibly overwhelmed with what I had to get done before Monday morning arrived or worse harboring resentment toward my husband for not helping me with my bottomless pit of work that still must get done.  This weekend, I had:

• More spontaneous time with my kids playing with no guilt or worries that I had piles of laundry to catch up on.
•  A fun date night with my husband and I wasn’t spending my whole afternoon cleaning for a sitter to come.  I was fully dressed with shoes on before the sitter arrived and I had dinner done for the kids.  Normally, this is sooo not the case!
• More peace knowing that there are no dishes in my sink.
•  Extra time to meal plan.
•  More time to do things that I wouldn’t normally have time to do – like take an hour and organize my daughter’s bedroom and make a trip to Goodwill.

I am seriously amazed at what this book has done for me.  I’m not saying this book is for you!  I’m simply saying that if you need to get a handle on your crazy life and how you function in your home, this might be for you!  Definitely check out the audiobook.  I heard the book, if you’re just reading it, is a little tough to get into.  Good luck…and keep me posted on how it’s helping you!

They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  Well, I'm stepping off the hamster wheel because I refuse the insanity and doing something different. Won't you join me?

 What are you doing today that’s preventing you from getting to where you want to be?

A Work in Progress

Soooo happy to be getting back into regular workouts after pregnancy!  I am ready to bring it AGAIN!  I am a little late with this, but this is my 30 day progress photo just 6 weeks after delivering my 2nd child.  My son was born July 18 and I started working out August 1 to TurboFire.  Some first month observations…

• Working out during pregnancy was a good thing.  I felt like my delivery went so smooth and I bounced back so much sooner than my first pregnancy!
• The first 2 weeks of working out were tough…my body was still healing so I had to take it easy and modify the workouts.
• My OB doctor said no ab-specific exercises until 6 weeks postpartum.
• I’m not so focused on what I look like right now…but know that I feel amazing. (lost 5 lbs)

For September, I have decided to introduce weight training back into my routine, so I am doing a TurboFire/ChaLEAN Extreme Hybrid program.